I am old and ill, not dead.
I have a move in mind. It is not traveling, not a trip, not a visit, but rather a move.
It seems that I am again looking for a new home. Thinking about it , anyway.
I know with some clarity what I want and hop for in a new place. What I will try to do here and now is to attempt to clarify why/how I am dissatisfied with this place.
This little house is pretty enough and comfortable enough and affordable enough, so what's the problem? What is my problem here? The problem is, of course, with me rather than with the place. I am not so wise that I can't make the mistake of trying to solve a problem with what we once called a geographical rather than facing it here. "Wherever I go there I am."
Of course, a place can be problematic. If one lives below a dam and one sees a crack growing in that dam, it damn well may be time to move.
Let me speak a bit more about this place. The location, the neighborhood, and the neighbors are only fair. And, the location has some true drawbacks for me:
~ This Village of Joshua Tree is on the boarder of Joshua Tree National Park. Joshua Tree National Park has the worst air quality of any National Park in California. High air quality is very important to me and the air here is too impure. If air quality was not very important to me I'd probably be living in northern Thailand now.
~I no longer enjoy driving. In fact my driving has begun to show signs of being dangerous to myself and to others. Owning a vehicle is also a considerable expense. It is not an absolute necessity to have a car here, but it is important to my health and comfort to have one. With-out a car here a very great deal of my time would be given over to arranging transportation.
~ Although here at the J. T. House the area to take care of is considerably less than that at Camp Thunderbird, it is burdensome to me. Housecleaning and gardening help is expensive. Just the thought of employing a cook here is ridiculous. Getting married might be cheaper. Taking all meals out would certainly cost me more than $600 a month, possibly much more.
~ In some ways I need more stimulation than most. I have not been able to experience the amount of variety and novelty I need here. To be fair I have seldom been able to find that novelty and variety anywhere in the States for long. I can get antsy for some newness anywhere on earth within a year. I am bored here now.
~ To an even greater degree than the item just above the following two are my problem and my responsibility and problems with much to do with me and little with place. Here I have not been able to provide myself with adequate physical activity nor have I been able to find anywhere near enough stimulating conversation. These last two give me some shame. I feel them as very personal shortcomings. Still, I have hope that a change of place will be of help.
The above are things I hope to leave behind. I a future post I intend to list some attractions of a new place.
